BMP2 Relationships Depression Addiction or PTSD – Love
Language:
generally speaking as a licensedMarriage and Family Therapist we areresponsible primarily for doing no harmfor making sure that we are notparticipating in actively hurtinganybody's state of psychological healthand well-being so there are threeseparate types of mental healthdiagnoses that we are informed throughresearch that if a couple presents andone or both partners have one of theseissues going on one of these three thatwe're going to talk about and they arenot treated adequately we are told thatit is not a good idea to work with thembecause the couple's work itself couldstand to actively harm the couple thatdoesn't have to play into what youdecide to do or don't decide to do withyour own life obviously however what Idoes hope it will offer you is anability to hear why couples work is oris not recommended for these specificdemographics so you can understand alittle bit more what you're getting intoand whether you're willing to ask theother person to reach out for help ornot based on the information you decidewhat you want to do with itright so there are three generaldiagnosis where couples work we are toldthrough research that it is not a goodidea it could actually hurt one or bothparties one of those diagnoses soactually the first three I'm just goingto go through them all at the beginningthey are untreated depression the secondis a post-traumatic stress disorder inthe third is addiction right whether weare talking about a substance likealcohol or cocaine or a processaddiction like gambling so the firstdepressiongenerally when someone's struggling withdepression with that comes low energylow mood people tend to under functionand whether they realize it or not youknow struggle to carry our weight whenwe're in that place so the off the batthat's something that I need to takeinto account if you're considering thebalance of your relationship as well asa person struggling with depressiontends to have numbing symptoms it ishard to experience their own emotionalexperiences and it's hard to know what'sgoing on for you even further conveyingthat is even more tough right and thelast folks with depression we're seeingthe world in this kind of self effacinga guilt infused way and in their proneto victimizing and making themselves ascapegoat and it can be very difficultfor them to set reasonable boundariesfor themselves and that's another partof relationship balance that this canmake tough so the the second diagnosisthat if untreated it was is not a goodidea to work with a couple is addictionright so just the nature of addiction itespecially when it's untreated when it'sreally active and and you know thedeeper it is it is a chaotic it'sunstable it is it is a beast and thisindividual really needs enough space ontheir own if someone is really sick withtheir addiction to develop enoughstability on their own so that they canstand on their own two feet and haveconfidence in their ability to do thatagain otherwise they really risk overdepending on somebody else if thatstability individually has not beenestablished yet especially for theperson who has a history of addictionthey're actually prone to becomingcompulsively focused on that otherperson as in a process addiction it italmost might look like codependence it'scalled a dependent personality disorderthese days by the dsm-5 now the thirdtype of diagnosis that we're told towatch out for for couples work becauseyou know the individual really needs toseek their own care first and have itadequately under control before engagingin the couple's work is a post-traumaticstress disorder or PTSD and in thesecases when not treated sufficiently theperson experiences stimuli or things intheir environment whether those aresmells sights touches tastes that remindthem of the traumatic event and theyhave these trauma responses right wherea bunch of cortisol and epinephrine getsdumped out in the bloodstream and theyhave this fight-or-flight reaction youknow whether they're aware of ithappening in the moment or not sometimeskind of come out of their body a littlebit sometimes not and in that place weare literally being told by our brainthat there's something in ourenvironment that can get us andannihilate us and wipe out either usphysically or or break us down orwhatever it happens to be right ourbrain is telling us there is a liebehind us so as you might guess if youare trying to work through some tensionor some really dynamic situations withyour partner and there are times whenyou see that other person as reallythreatening so threatening that theycannot even begin to resemble safetywell its problematic for for therelationship and for both partnerspotentially harming so again I just wantyou to have this information as to thesethree specific diagnoses the mentalhealth conditions and and why theresearch supports not working with acouple until they have this adequatelyyou know just enough not perfectly butenough under control so you can takethat into considerationwhen you're considering what you want todo in your own life with your ownrelationships or with your left ones
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